Looking back - my testimony.

Warning: This post is long. :)

There are times when it is not good to look back on things, but rather look forward. Then are things that we do need to look back on and give God thanks for. Today, I am looking back over my life and giving God thanks for what He has done for me.

It started when I was an infant.

I was born with a problem - a blood condition. My parents prayed and God healed me. When I was a brand new baby, my dad lost his job and things were tight. He didn't know how he was going to provide for his family, but for 16 months with no job, God saw us through and we never went hungry and never were without a roof over our heads. Looking back over the years I can truly say that God has always had His hand upon my life, even when I didn't deserve it. I have been blessed with parents who prayed for their children before they were even born. I would not be where I am today without parents who loved God and feared Him. I have had the hand of God upon my life because my parents prayed over me and dedicated me to the Lord when I was just a baby.

I believe I was 2 years old when a backslider came to church and decided to hang back in her seat during altar call. I went up to her and told her "Lady, go pray!" God can use a child. She went up to the altar and prayed through. I hardly remember this, and at 2 years old I did not realize that God was using me, but He did.

It continued through my child hood.

God was with me in my child hood. I remember being about 8 years old and sitting at the dinner table after church. I began to cry and my parents asked me what was wrong. I wasn't sure what was going on, but I told them I felt bad. I felt bad because of how low my shirt was. (It wasn't even that low) I was wearing a little girl dress. This was the first time I remember feeling conviction about the way I was dressed. I had always been dressed modestly, and apparently my parents felt my dress was modest. But somehow God got through to a little 8 year old girl and gave her a personal conviction. This happened not long after I received the Holy Ghost, and I will never forget it. God can talk to kids, so don't under estimate them. God can deal with any body's heart!

The kids in the neighborhood used to make fun of me for my appearance. My form of dress, my lifestyle, etc. They would call me names and do all sorts of mean things. There was a girl named Bre who would treat me rudely. I had invited her to church many times and she always told me no - never seemed interested. One night as I was about to leave for church with my family, here comes Bre... "Can I go to church with you?" We were both about 9 at the time. Wow! Of course she could come to church with me. So here comes Bre with me to church, the girl who made fun of me. She came to church and as soon as song service started, she began to cry. She cried and cried through the whole service. She came again shortly after and received the Holy Ghost. God did an amazing work in Bre's life. God can use kids!

He kept me through my teenage years.

I can honestly say when I turned 20 I thought "WHEW, I made it out of the teenage years alive!" Thank God there's no going back! My teenage years were definitely a struggle, from about age 14 - age 17 or so. We moved away from our family and friends to start a church in a little city I never heard of before. I was 11 when we moved. I was lonely. I struggled. When you enter into your teenage years, having friends and being accepted is very important. When you have no friends near you or that go to your church, it's hard to cope with. My dad pushed me to learn to play the piano, and I gave him a bad attitude. I didn't want to play, I didn't want to sacrifice. I just wanted to go back to my friends that I had left. But God had plan. I remember my dad telling me "one day you'll thank me for making you continue to learn piano." I was thinking, "yeah right," but God knew better. And so did my dad! (Thanks dad) We had no music in our church when we first started, so we sang accapella for 6 months straight. **you can imagine what that was like.** Then, finally we got a keyboard that had church songs programmed into it, so my mom would sing and operate that for song service. It was definitely better that no music at all! When I was 14 my dad told me I had to start playing all the time for every service. I freaked out! I struggled to play and learn enough songs, but God helped me.

I remember visiting another church and they wanted me to sing a special and play the piano. I was so terrified I went into the back Sunday school room and cried. It's funny to me now, but back then it was not! I remember how scared I used to get to play in front of just a few people in a little home missions church. My legs would shake, my hands would sweat, and my mind would go blank. I would forget how to play a song right in the middle of song service and mess up terribly! Talk about humbling. And discouraging. An evangelist called me to the front of the church after service one Sunday morning. I was probably 12 or so at the time. He took my hands and began to tell me that God was going to use my hands for His glory... That God was going to use me. I felt God come down as he spoke and I began to cry. That is something I held on to and never forgot.

My old friends I still kept in touch with began to change. Many of them walked out on God and backslid. Some of them would make fun of me or act different around me because I was a pastor's daughter now and I was too 'holy' for them. This made me really upset. I wanted to prove to them that I was "normal" like them. I hated being singled out and thought of as someone that never made mistakes or someone that they couldn't relate to. Becoming a pastor's kid was new to me, and I felt the change in how people viewed me and labeled me. I tried to show them that I wasn't perfect, wanting so badly for them to see me as a normal person just like them. I struggled with many things through out those years and had my poor parents on their knees. It took some mistakes and heart ache to get me to where I am today.

I remember when my best friend backslid. She was like a sister to me. It broke my heart to see her go, but I knew that I could not let anybody else's decisions effect my own. Somewhere along the line, through much learning, prayer, preaching I received, God got a hold of my heart and I made a commitment to God that I would serve Him all the days of my life. I do not regret that decision at all. It has been and will be worth it all some day.

There are so many things I can say about the teenage years. The struggles, the decisions and pressures that I faced. The older you get, the more decisions you have to make and the more responsibility you take on. I know now that I have MUCH to learn throughout my life. I need my parents, I need the ministry, I need elders. I am so thankful God has kept me.

He is keeping me still.

I am where I am now because of God's mercy. I've seen prayers answered, souls saved, and needs met. I still have my struggles in life and always will. Life happens to everybody and there will always be things to deal with. As my dad has said to me: "It will be blood, sweat, and tears all the way to the pearly gates."  Over the last year or so some unexpected things have happened, including a sudden and shocking death in our family, and losing our home we lived in for almost 10 years. But God has been SO faithful and blessed us, and most of all given us peace through the storms. I am so thankful to be living for God. It doesn't make life perfect, but you can be sure you will have everything you need to face the storms of life, because God will be with you! Some people may scoff at the way I live. Some people only see the outside, but they don't know what He's done for me. They don't know how good He's been to me, because if they did, they would want to know more. So, I am sharing part of my life here today with you. If you don't know Jesus for yourself, you can. I'm not talking about some false and empty religion that is just tradition and does not change you, but I'm just talking about really knowing God and watching Him change you as His power works in your life! God is a personal God and created us to have a relationship with Him. It's sad that many do not know this and have never had an experience with God. God came to seek and to save that which is lost. He came to save people from their sins. He came to bring us peace and joy and healing. God is good!

Looking back, I am extremely thankful.
Do you have a testimony of things God has done for you?
TELL IT! The world needs to know.